Tags
bigotry, boys, Christians, church, discrimination, double standard, feminism, feminist, girls, hatred, mom, woman, women
I started the day off reading one of my favorite blogs. The gentleman who writes the blog was very optimistic about the fact that women were on the precipice of being accepted and ordained as pastors (and other good things). I, however, am not so optimistic, although I am glad there are men who believe as he does. It gives me a dash of hope. But why my negative attitude?
I was born in 1965. I entered elementary school in Texas – TEXAS – in 1971. From as early as I can remember, even though there was discrimination, I always felt that if I applied myself and worked really, REALLY hard, I could soar with the eagles (men).
But that was a time when I think even extremely bigoted men (and women) indugled girls trying to better themselves because it amused them. It amused them like watching a monkey try to get the lid off a jar of peanut butter; they might succeed occasionally, but by-and-large they were never going to be very good at it. However, as women proved that they were, in fact, good at a variety of things, including opening jars of Jif, fear started to build up in the psyche of the onlookers until we arrive here: 2013.
I have never in my 48 years felt such hatred (I am not even going to try and temper that word) toward girls and women. The only group blamed for more evil are Muslims. I think even gay men are not villified as much.
Women and the liberal education system (women) are responsible for boys not performing well in school because it supposedly favors girls. Men are not getting into the best colleges because girls (and minorities) are being favored in the application process. Young men are dropping out of college because…..well, they don’t exactly say why, but it is always thrown in there when talking about how the women’s movement has ruined America for boys. Boys are choosing to live in their parents’ basements playing video games because somehow girls achieving THEIR potential emasculates boys and kills boys’ desire to succeed and because boys’ mothers had the audacity to kiss them when dropping them off at kindergarten lo those many years ago. There are too many children living in poverty because lazy minority women devoid of any morals whatsoever will not keep their legs shut and socialist women (and girly men) are giving them handouts so that they never have the desire to make it on their own. Most women in power (except the uber-attractive, Republican variety) are mocked for being horse-faced harpies; at least by those who want least to see women succeed.
And these attacks do not even include the rash of legislation being proposed and already passed in 2013 (we are only in March!) aimed at limiting or eliminating women’s access to health services and control of their own bodies. If that weren’t bad enough, the legislation reaches beyond limiting rights and looks to further degrade, violate and humiliate women in the process (i.e., forced vaginal ultrasounds).
If the attacks were only coming from extreme, fundamentalist Christians or from Republicans or from men in general, it might not seem so scary. However, it comes from all over; including the mothers and fathers of underachieving boys, EVEN if they also have girls. I often wonder what dinner conversations in THOSE households sounds like…”Feminism is ruining our boys,” laments Mom and Dad as they reach over and pat little Susie’s hand, “but YOU are different, Dear. You can be anything you want and that doesn’t make you a bad person.”
I am constantly amazed how the men I know can talk awfully about powerful women and then expect me to believe that they respect ME. What makes me different? What makes my daughters different? It is a very damaging message to send to wives, mothers, daughters, and nieces. It doesn’t help the boys either, but to the girls and women who love the men (and women) saying these things, it is heartbreaking and a joy-killer.
I wonder if the blogger who envisions women on the verge of being treated fairly by the Church in the near future read this story. A young pregnant woman in San Diego was fired by her Christian college employer for having sex before marriage and her job was then offered to her fiancé who fathered the child. It boggles the mind that people can convince themselves that double standards do not exist.
Well, gotta run. There are jars of peanut butter to open.
one woman's discernment 
Your writing is great, the issues you talk about inspire me!
Thank you, Ginger.
Nothing is more validating than reading your own experience on someone else’s page. It’s women like you that provide the pulse for any change in the church. I am encouraged and humbled by your words. Thank you for fighting.
Lyddie, Trying to connect with others who are experiencing the same things I am experiencing/feeling was the reason I started the blog along with just trying to find a constructive place to work through my frustrations. I know how important it is to receive validation. It is what keeps us sane! Thanks for the kind words.